Tap Shop Tartan Army Banner

"A central defenders bum with crunchy croutons"
An interview with
The Chieftain

So who can drink more then, you or Big Stuff?

Me. Big Stuff is a soup drinker; pure and simple. He has crunchy croutons with his large Grants’. Give me a hard question

OK then I will, when are you and Nikki Scissorhands going to get hitched?

Bollocks! I was only joking. That is a hard one (something Nikki never sees). For me, I believe it could well be in the stars. And if you ask me that question again you’ll be seeing stars!

You were in the Amsterdam ArenA a few weeks ago?

Oh aye that Teasers Bar is some place big man, you want to see the gazongas that were on show there. Aye some arena.

Pedro…..the Ajax match?

Oh that Amsterdam ArenA. It’s not a bad wee ground, it minds me a wee bit of Rugby Park except the Killie pies are better. Yon great big “buckets” of Grolsh beer that me, Credit Card and Haymarket schwallied before the game in the Ajax club helped us to see everything more clearly.
We needed two hands to hold them but there again I suppose the same was true at Teasers.

What gave you your biggest shock when watching Scotland?

Easy. I’ve been watching Hibs and Scotland for years and not once have I ever been offered any hospitality package. This year I went to watch the Scottish womens’ team and I got invited to go along to their celebration bash at Livingston. Magic! I’ll tell you Vera hasn’t half got better looking now she’s left Coronation Street. It did feel a wee bit odd when I told The Battlebus Commander of my admiration for a Central Defender’s bum. Still he said, she said, mine’s was nice too which was good to hear as I am often told my face resembles a horse’s arse. Credit Card did point our she had drunk about 15 vodkas too.

Tell me a wee bit about the camaraderie that exists in the TSTA?

Well there’s they Jambo diddies, Randall and Hopkirk, the bawbag twins and that Celtic eejit Lock up John for starters. Ach I suppose we all get on fine as long as nobody runs out of bevvy. Look, time is cider when is this going to finish?

One last question. A desert island who would you choose to be on it with you?

It must be Danni Behr, it must be Danni Behr coz she’s got……..